Like so many others around the world, I am grieving with Claire Davis' family and friends in the all-too-familiar report of an innocent child who has died at the hands of another child in school. A friend posted on Facebook with the news of Claire's passing, "In the words of Bob Dylan: 'how many deaths will it take, til we know that too many people have died?' Something really needs to change..." I couldn't agree more. And I tried to reply to her Facebook post, but I couldn't. I had no words. Claire's death is too devastating. It's too unnecessary. And it's all-too familiar.
Columbine happened my first year as a classroom teacher. I remember weeping and watching the news coverage blanketing every channel on the television in Colorado. I remember calling my mentor the night it happened and asking, "What should I do tomorrow? How do we talk about it? What is the right was to handle this?" There were no answers then. There seem to be fewer answers now.
"Practice compassion," is my favorite quote by the Dalai Lama.
The full quote is, "If you want to be happy, practice compassion. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion." I always just remember the two words, "Practice compassion."
I love these words because they suggest compassion is at least part skill. Compassion needs to be practiced to improve. Compassion requires action. And that means everyone is capable of compassion with practice. Everyone.
As an educator, I appreciate practicing a skill to improve. Times tables need to be practiced and applied to problem solving. Letter sounds need to be practiced and applied to reading words. Compassion needs to be practiced and applied to loving others.
As an educator, I know abstract concepts are best taught through concrete means.
So I offer two ideas...
Teach kindness concretely.
I've been told bullying is easier for children to understand than peace. It does not have to be. Instead of a giant red-lined circle that reads, "No Bullying," hang up a kindness wreath with lots of ribbon. For every kind deed a child sees or does, let her/him tie a ribbon on the wreath.
Make kindness tangible.
No one is ostracized when being taught to practice peace. Everyone may participate.
No one is alienated when acts of kindness are given attention. Every kind acts earns attention.
Kids also relate to kids. I have witnessed the most inspiring conversations about peace after sharing Heartsong poetry by Mattie J.T. Stepanek. Kick off a unit of study or an at-home conversation with Mattie's poetry. His message of peace will transcend the ages.
Model giving.
Model giving and involve your children in the action.
Bring food to a food pantry. Hand a bag to your child a bag to carry inside.
Deliver a meal to a family in need. Let your child knock on the door.
Adopt a child or family for holiday gifts go shopping. Let your child choose the presents.
Volunteer with your children.
At this time last year, I was working as an education director at a small nonprofit in central Florida. There, I met a number of notable people who will stay in my heart forever. One of those people was a grandparent volunteer who was also a pastor. When he found out I was leaving because the late hours were cutting too much into time with my children, we discussed parenting. What he said will always stay with me... "You have to trust what you put in them, " he said in reference to raising children and sending them out into the world. "You have to trust what you put in them."
I remember walking alongside my mother with food in hand for a Thanksgiving dinner and delivering the meal as a part of Meals on Wheels when I was a child. It made an impact and it is my greatest hope to inspire the same through action.
And last night, I found Ofelia wrapping up a piece of her artwork. I asked whom it was for and she quickly replied, "Someone special." The distinct package is under the tree labeled, "To Mom. Love, Ofelia."
She just made my Christmas.
Let's all practice.
